It’s a story as old as time: powerful, charismatic leader, guru, teacher, or master misusing their influence to seduce women or engage in situations that are questionable at best.
Examples of this proliferate the spirituality/personal development world:
Nutrition rock star picking up married woman at his retreats
Lifestyle strategist asking personal assistant to unpack and clean all his sex toys
World renowned healing modality expert seducing a student during an event then leaving her a few days after it’s over
Predator spiritual guru bedding girls less than half his age – none of them last much beyond the hook up
New age mega millionaire leaving many women in his wake at each event
And these are just the women I’ve seen personally. There’s also a disturbing trend in the spiritual world of being told that monogamy is closed minded, unevolved, and not spiritual. If you want a sense of how rampant this is take a look in the news over the last decade –
Eli Jaxson Bear sex scandal involving student
Bikram Choudhury sexually harassed assistant
Swami Satchidananda, who did the invocation at Woodstock, molested female followers
Amit Desai sexually abused a number of women who were disciples while married with three children and taught celibacy for singles in his center
John Friend sexual practices with his senior teachers
Osho when asked about his sexual exploits with his followers said “Yes, it’s true: I am the Blessed One!”
Sai Baba molested a number of sons of his followers
Muktananda checked his female followers for virginity by sexually assaulting them
Adi Da Samraj charged with sexual assault
Why do otherwise intelligent women get mislead into these power and sex situations? The answer lies in the psyche’s deepest desire to heal from original traumas. From 0-6 years old is when our beliefs about ourselves and the world are formed. At that age we have expectations that are broken, we feel unsafe, and alone. These significant emotional experiences are some of our deepest wounds and in order to move towards healing we subconsciously are drawn towards similar experiences that will give us an opportunity to finally overcome the pain left by the original wound.
This plays out in different ways that are unique to each and every woman I work with. For one client it was that her father wasn’t around at all which lead to her attraction to older men to pay attention to her. Another whose childhood incident of sexual trauma lead to other events similar in nature with her guru. And another who as a child felt the powerful seduction of a predator who groomed her for his own sexual pleasure which recently lead to her being seduced by a charismatic leader.
Another dynamic at work here is that the workshop/retreat setting is a place that leaves one very open and vulnerable. A seemingly caring and empathetic leader can easily become the object of desire. The women I have worked with over the years have a lot of guilt and shame for having been led down a primrose path. They also have a strong feeling of moral injury – here they are presenting themselves to a supposed healer to help them with their problems and the person they trusted most betrayed them yet again. Thank God for tools like Matrix and EFT so the pattern can be recognized, collapsed, and women can see that they were not at fault. They are free then to pursue a life of rewarding sexual connection without all the dirt and dramas.