The infamous sex spreadsheet.
Place this in the column of what you shouldn’t do if you want to save your relationship! This image went viral last year because I think it hit a raw nerve with women and men. Here’s the backstory- husband gets frustrated over the seemingly petty excuses his wife makes up for not wanting to have sex. Wife claims everything from being dirty after a workout (but doesn’t shower until next day) to wanting to make sure she catches one of her favorite TV shows (in re-run). Husband begins a spreadsheet with three columns one for the date asked, whether she said yes or no to sex, and what her excuse was each time. During the course of 7 weeks she said yes a total of 3 times.
What happened next was that he sent it to her while she was en route to a 10 day business trip. She then sent in the spreadsheet through social media channels. Some people sided with him stating that her constant rejection needed to be pointed out in this manner. Some people sided with her saying this was completely immature. I just wish that they’d done some EFT tapping on their sexual relationship before it had gotten to this.
I’ve worked with many women who realized that they had gotten into a rut with their partners and were using excuses to stop the advances. With each one there were many layers that led to this disconnection with their sexual needs and desires. For some it was past history in the relationship (sexual or otherwise). For others it was related to past traumas. All of them resolved the issues surrounding the lack of interest and were able to either speak the truth about why they weren’t interested in having sex that particular day. As a result they not only felt more sexual but also more empowered to say what they needed to say truthfully and honestly.