Last week, Craig and I were teaching EFT and Matrix in South Florida as we do each spring. This year we rented an oceanfront condo just blocks away from where we were holding the trainings so that we could be close enough to avoid serious traffic in that area in the mornings. We also wanted the opportunity to really enjoy the lovely beach, water and sun during the times we had free. On the way to the car each morning we’d walk by this little grassy area and I’d bust out laughing. You see in this tiny lawn lives this lemon tree pictured here. Well, sorta. It’s actually a fake lemon tree as Craig discovered one day when he went to pick one off the ground. Seriously. Some groundskeeper (or mischief-maker) took the time and effort to actually wire plastic lemons to this tree!
Do you remember the song in the 70s, “Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower so sweet but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat”? This song rang in my head after I’d found out that the lemons were fake. I liken this tree to the denial or unconscious efforts many of clients make to support untruths about their lives when they work with the deeper layers of their romantic relationships using EFT and Matrix. We all can end up taking extraordinary measures to show others that we are something we aren’t. Here are some examples:
Lisa is a successful executive in Europe. She is one of the top producers in her area of specialization. Her work requires her to entertain clients and their wives and this means she has to take her husband. Lisa hasn’t exactly been in a romantic relationship with her husband for over a decade. She describes it like this, “We eat dinner several times a week together in silence, we make arrangements with our adult children to get together at holidays, and we discuss our finances but that’s it. There’s no love, no sex, and absolutely no joy.” After a series of sessions on the core issues regarding her lack of passion and looming depression Lisa gasped, “I just realized that I am living a lie. I can’t pretend any longer to be his wife.” Lisa is now traveling around the world, earning more money than she ever has and has found a passionate lover.
Celine found herself facing an eating disorder. While working with her therapist she decided to work on her fear of sex with me as she herself had made the connection between her lack of desire for food, her disinterest in sex, and her problems with her relationship with her longtime partner. In our initial phone call Celine said, “I know that I am sick of being a fraud. I am a coach and make claims to the world that to be free one has to be vulnerable, real, and let go of the pretense and bullshit. When it comes down to it though no one in my family of origin knows that I am living off credit cards and that my partner sleeps with other women.” Two years later Celine is health, happy, and congruent with who she says she is in her videos and articles. She’s even writing a book about her journey.
That tree in Florida might look like a lemon tree but it will never ever be one. Luckily it’s a just a tree and doesn’t get emotionally unhinged, physically ill, or financially broke when humans try to make it something it isn’t.