Great suggestions for a Marriage Hack from Eli Finkel. Elimate the downward spiral of marital decline by taking steps now that and not before you are at the point of crisis. I completely agree with his assessment that the quality of your life is essentially determined by the quality of your marriage or long term romantic relationships. It’s important to spend some time working on it before things turn sour.
The Marriage Hack ideas can even go better and deeper by combining them with EFT tapping.
Here’s a review of the writing prompt steps outlined in the video above:
1. Think about the last major conflict you had from the perspective of a neutral 3rd party who wants the best from everybody.
2. What obstacles will you confront when trying to adopt this perspective?
3. How can you get past those obstacles?
With EFT tapping you can absolutely see the other person’s point of view as well as see the conflict from a neutral 3rd party. Take that event that happened within the last few months and first come up with up the emotion you still feel about it, where that emotion sits in your body and then tap on “Even though I feel this ___(emotion) in my ____ (part of the body) about the time when ____(describe the event briefly), I deeply and completely accept myself.” Use that as the set up statement and then use a simple reminder such as “this ___(emotion)” Get that down to a 0 in intensity. Then ask yourself again how you feel about it.
When you ask yourself about obstacles you have trying to adopt this new perspective you will likely uncover past times you tried to work things out with your partner. Make that list and tap on it.
Tapping will allow you to get beyond the feelings of “why even bother doing this?” and the “we’ve (I’ve) tried similar things in the past and it’s never stuck” that accompany any long term partnership.
Feeling less angry, less depressed, less stress, and happier are all doable with the help of tapping.