From the book Getting to I Do.
Energy in a relationship quiz.
In this quiz, check the answer that most reflects the way you’d likely behave in a situation.
1. You enjoy living alone because
(a) You don’t have to deal with other people
(b) You have more time to work
(c) You enjoy the time it affords you after work to please yourself
2. You and your fiancé are buying a house. You have more money to invest that he does. What do you do?
(a) Put in more money?
(b) Put in your half share only
(c) Expect him to provide a house for you
3. You enjoy working more than playing because
(a) Playing is feeling centered and you don’t want to waste time
(b) Work produces money with which you can exert influence and greater control
(c) Your father expected performance from you and rewarded you with love
4. Your boyfriend likes to camp out and you don’t . Do you
(a) Be a good sport and go along
(b) Stay home because you don’t want to go
(c) Insist that he give up his hobby
5. You like to masturbate, but your boyfriend feels insulted. What do you do?
(a) Maintain your right to please yourself when alone.
(b) Call him up when you want to have sex
(c) Lie to him and allow both styles of sexual pleasure.
6. You and your boyfriend are saving for a summer rental, and he wants to control the money. What do you do?
(a) Refuse
(b) Do it with a guaranteed allowance.
(c) Demand that you alternate control monthly
7. Your car breaks down. What do you do?
(a) Call your boyfriend and ask him to get you
(b) Leave your car and take a bus or cab home
(c) Call your brother instead of your boyfriend
8. You have a fight with your gentle, feminine boyfriend, who then has a problem with impotence. What do you do?
(a) Accept him as he is and help him feel safer and more relaxed
(b) End the relationship and move on
(c) Try to teach him with books and articles (and maybe EFT ;) how to do it.
9. Your boyfriend earns twice as much as you do yet still expects you to share 50-50 on dates. What do you do?
(a) Accept this arrangement
(b) Expect him to pay for everything
(c) Compromise by each paying for dates you request of the other.
10. Both you and your boyfriend work long hours during the week leaving little time for sex. What do you do?
(a) Let him decide when to ask for it and say “No thank you” if you are too tired
(b) Initiate it when you are feeling amorous
(c) Negotiate to have sex only on weekends.
Answers:
1. (a) Narcissistic (b) Male (c) Female
2. (a) Male (b) Female (c) Narcissistic
3. (a) Male (b) Narcissistic (c) Female
4. (a) Male (b) Female (c) Narcissistic
5. (a) Female (b) Male (c) Narcissistic
6. (a) Male (b) Female (c) Narcissistic
7. (a) Female (b) Male (c) Narcissistic
8. (a) Female (b) Male (c) Narcissistic
9. (a) Male (b) Narcissistic (c) Female
10. (a) Female (b) Male (c) Narcissistic
How did you fare in this quiz?
This useful perspective comes from a controversial book we use in our Learn2Find Love course. As with everything we teach, we ask you to use what’s helpful and discard the rest. I find that when looking at what is going wrong in a relationship or what led to a breakup, the idea of male-female energy is an elegant system and one that is well explained in this book. If you are mostly female energy, you use feelings primarily in relating to the world and if you are mostly male energy, then you primarily use logic. If you are narcissistic, you try to use both equally and this often creates power struggles.
