Reappraisal success is necessary when we find ourselves stuck in a negative neural feedback loop with constant painful thoughts ruminating in our minds, we can’t think objectively.
Scenario #1: You’ve been dumped. Your heart is literally aching. You scan your brain replaying all the events that led to the end of the relationship.
Scenario #2: You’ve been laid-off. You can’t sleep due to all the anxiety you are feeling. You think about how great the money was and now it’s over.
Scenario #3: Your friend hasn’t called you in months. You know she’s avoiding your calls and emails. You go out to dinner alone and see her at the restaurant happily chatting with a group of new friends. You feel so sick you can’t finish your meal. On the way home you can’t stop wondering what you did to turn her against you.
If you’ve never experienced this type of blind spot, I am sure you’ve seen it in someone close to you. Why can’t we see all the bad? Why can’t we feel that by definition the “one” who isn’t with us now isn’t the “one”?
When we find ourselves stuck in this negative neural feedback loop with constant painful thoughts ruminating in our minds, we can’t think objectively. Maybe your boyfriend was really a rat-fink that no one thought was right for you. Maybe your money-making golden handcuff job was really set in a crappy environment. Maybe the woman you considered your best friend was never really there for you to begin with. This is the definition of reappraisal success and it’s often the first sign that we are healing.
How do you get to this place of peace, and understand that there might possibly be a higher purpose at work here? Perhaps some force may have been propelling you towards your greatest and highest good? By tapping of course! Clarity will come after you’ve been able to release some of the current discomfort.
Start by tapping on the immediate pain and loss you feel. Then tap on any guilt you may perceive you should rightfully hold since you did something to contribute to the demise of the relationship. Ask yourself if this reminds you of a situation from your past as often this level of pain is really about an older wound. If it is tap to release it or work with a qualified practitioner to assist you
Cognitive shifts like reappraisal success are par for the course with EFT. With some tapping you’ll soon be grateful that you are no longer in the type of relationship or work environment that you deserve to have.